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HAIL2THECHIEF
category:Classic OtherSpace Logs The Consortium Broadcasting Network holds an online discussion between Solar Consortium President Neidermeyer and Centauran Solon Solilopax as they discuss terms to avoid a war with Earth and a truce so they can work together to resolve the Moebius crisis... Moderator says, "Good evening, and welcome to the CBN Live Discussion Network. Our two special guests tonight are Solon Solilopax of Centauri and President Colin Neidermeyer of Earth. In the interest of full disclosure, it was decided that the president's press secretary, Lawrence Putnam, will field questions and type answers on the president's behalf. His username is Hail2TheChief." Hail2TheChief waves. "Good evening." Solon Solilopax says, "Good evening. My thanks for agreeing to meet with me on this matter." Goknreln has disconnected. Hail2TheChief says, "The president indicates that he finds this medium satisfactory." Moderator says, "Solon, if you want, go ahead and begin the discussion." Solon Solilopax says, "Thank you. While the Moebius brought Earth into this Universe unintended, I wish to acknowlege that it has as much right as anyone to exist. It would be presumptuous of us to reverse it and remove Earth. At the same time, it is important that the effect not be allowed to spread and harm other worlds by altering them. Therefore, a solution must be reach that allows all involved to exist. Would you agree, Mr. President?" Hail2TheChief says, "The president says: "I'm not so sure about that, Solon. We have been conducting comparisons of the worlds around us based on old and new reconnaisance, and we have determined that it would be strategically beneficial to us to allow the Effect to continue. That summit on Grimlahd last night demonstrated just how dangerous the aliens really are."" Solon Solilopax says, "I would acknowledge that it is possibly stragetically beneficial to you to allow the effect to proceed. No one at the summit wishes to resort to war. Any creature, human or otherwise, when threatened with the end of its existence, will of course do whatever it can to ensure its continued existence. Any sort of conflict, especially one sparked by aliens desperate for their continued existence, would not be to your benefit, and could result in loss of life. Such a conflict would be unfortunate for both sides, and thus it is best avoided. Are you willing to consider steps to allow us to preserve our worlds without harming yours in the process?" Hail2TheChief says, "The president respectfully...one moment." Hail2TheChief says, "The president, although he wants to...excuse me a moment." Hail2TheChief says, "All right, listen up, Solon. It's me. President Colin C. Neidermeyer. Putnam's a fine secretary, but I don't need a goddamned filter. Am I willing to consider steps? I would have been, maybe, before the announcement from the summit. Goddamned aliens, saying it's in their best interest to try and conquer *my* planet if I don't bend over and let them stick it to me? I don't think it's going to be in Earth's best interest to consider those steps of yours, Solon." Solon Solilopax says, "We have no interest in conquering Earth. We respect your right to be left alone. All that we ask is for you to consider cooperating with our efforts to halt the Moebius effect. We are not seeking to copulate with you, as you have said." Hail2TheChief says, "What's in it for us? If we help you stop it, we still leave ourselves vulnerable to attack. Sir Humpy of Sivad made it quite clear to me the other night that the alien worlds feel threatened. He even said his King might join in a war against Earth, if provoked. So, I help you stop this Effect, I allow you barbarians to remain just outside the walls. I let it go on, and you're history. I have to act in the best interests of my people. I can't leave a legacy of eager conquerors drooling at our gates." Solon Solilopax says, "The Centaurans have a legacy of peace. We are only threatened by the Moebius effect, and not by Earth. If all of our existence is threatened, all aliens have a motive to band together to save themselves. If the threat is removed, we have nothing to gain by attacking Earth. The aliens are not a cohesive force, except when joined together by a collective threat." Hail2TheChief says, "Bullshit. You don't like Earth. You don't like the work camps. You don't like our philosophy. Well, there's not much I hate more than a bleeding heart idealogue. You want to make me feel comfortable with this arrangement? Tell you what: Convince all your little cohorts out there to become provinces of the Solar Consortium, subject to our laws and justice system. If they'll agree to that, I'll run your idea up the flagpole and see who salutes." Solon Solilopax says, "It would be unreasonable for us to become provinces of the Solar Consortium. Such a course of action would place our existence at risk. By your lack of cooperation and inaction, you are seeking to commit genocide. We wish, first and foremost, to exist. Secondly, we wish for Earth to be left alone, in peace. We are willing to cease our settlement of Callisto in the Sol System. There are pleanty of light years between us." Hail2TheChief says, "Hey, Solon, you ain't in the best bargaining spot, are you? Now, if I help you, in a best case scenario, maybe we can fix it so we're both back in our normal realities, right? If that works out, this fealty to the Consortium is only temporary. Right?" Solon Solilopax says, "If we are able to fix the shift, you will be returned to the universe from whence you came, reversing the events that brought you here." Hail2TheChief says, "Supposedly. But I don't have any guarantees on that, do I? And if we end up stuck with you savages all around us, I want to have some goddamned say over what you can and can't do. Now, this isn't really negotiable. There's only one other option, and you won't like it, either." Solon Solilopax says, "Please state the other option, Mr. Neidermeyer." Hail2TheChief says, "Sixteen plasma bombs placed on each inhabited world besides Earth until such time as the crisis passes. Threaten Earth, and we choose a world at random to perish." Rive has joined this channel. Rive says, "((Anything still happening here?))" Moderator says, "Yes, User Rive. Please page the Moderator with any questions or comments." Solon Solilopax says, "Additionally unacceptable. You have indicated that you may wish for us to die, this could merely represent another means for you to seek out our destruction. We will not allow you to destroy us, and we will not allow the Moebius effect to continue." Wolstencroft has partially disconnected. Hail2TheChief says, "Oh, well, then you're really going to hate this s***: You bastards try to invade us, I've got sixteen plasma bombs strategically placed around Earth. Our backs are against a wall here too, Solon. If we're gonna die, we're gonna die on our terms, and we'll screw you in the process. So, it's our terms or nothing. Pick one." Solon Solilopax says, "As stated earlier, we only wish to reverse the effect, sending you back to your proper universe. Would you kill every man, woman and child that you are supposed to protect simply to prevent this?" Hail2TheChief says, "Unless you provide us the security we need to trust you during this crisis? Yes." Solon Solilopax says, "Then consider allowing a small number of unarmed Centaurans to assist in the investigation to locate the device, supervised by your military. If the device is on Earth, it will be in your custody as which point we can negotiate for the reversal of the Moebius effect and your return to your proper universe." Hail2TheChief says, "Your brainiacs said it isn't on the planet, exactly. It's somewhere in the past, on the planet. So, you're going to need to build *another* one and put it exactly where the other one was so they can hook up and, presumably, untangle us. We *know* the solution is here on Earth. We're negotiating now on how we're going to do it. Either stop it or reverse it. But if we can only stop it, I'm going to need to give my people long-term security." Solon Solilopax says, "My 'brainiacs', as you have said indicate that the effect can either be stopped, or reversed. Choose what is best for your people, Mr. Neidermeyer. We will comply with either request." Hail2TheChief says, "Right. Well, you bunch of savages would probably screw around and blow up the plasma bombs yourself if we put them on your planets. And while that might do the universe a favor, I don't need the hassle. So, we'll settle for your worlds becoming provinces of the Solar Consortium until such time as this crisis has passed." Solon Solilopax says, "I can only speak for Centauri, in this case. Please detail what this would entail." Hail2TheChief says, "It would entail the lot of you tossing out all this talk of invading Earth, behaving yourselves, and cooperating with our scientists. I don't have the resources to try and occupy all your worlds, so relax. This only lasts as long as the Moebius Effect. If we fail, it's not like I have much left to rule anyway." Solon Solilopax says, "The terms you have stated are acceptable." Hail2TheChief says, "Oh. There's one more term." Solon Solilopax says, "I find that unsurprising. Please state your additional term." Hail2TheChief says, "Everyone has to call me King Colin." Solon Solilopax says, "That term is also acceptable, King Colin." Hail2TheChief says, "Yeah. I like the sound of that. Great. All right, Solon. Go make sure the rest of your pals sign on. Once they do, we can talk about the next step." Solon Solilopax says, "King Colin, I will proceed with this. Your terms do neglect the extent of which you wish to occupy our worlds, or the level of access to classified data you will demand. Please explain your policies regarding occupation and demands for access to data." Hail2TheChief says, "We're not going to occupy you at all, unless you threaten us. As for data, we just want whatever it takes to make a new Moebius device." Solon Solilopax says, "This is also acceptable. Our scientists will gladly assist yours in the construction of a new device. As lawyers often advise, it is best to get agreements in writing. Please have your staff send mine the full treaty, in writing, that I may present to the others." Hail2TheChief says, "You betcha, Sillypax. Signing off." Moderator says, "Thank you for attending this online discussion." Solon Solilopax says, "Solon Solilopaxillthrixian signing off."